what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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