We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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