i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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