Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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