Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
well you can't waste a boner
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
