Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
