And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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