Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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