32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize