I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
