HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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