Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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