Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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