she kept yelling 'call me bella'
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
