I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
