Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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