Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
