So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
