even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize