At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
