Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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