my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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