Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
