But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize