Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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