Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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