My nipple is on Facebook.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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