how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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