Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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