You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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