i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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