Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
