please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
