Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
