I wish life had little blips of pornography
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
