these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
