see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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