i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
