kristin has been a bad kristin
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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