In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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