When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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