Me. At least after what I've been through.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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