The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
