so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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