All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize