He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
