put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
