How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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