Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
