he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
