She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
