Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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