I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
