In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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