Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
