Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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