Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
